Anon Dad’s honest letter to the lawyer of the child after a 5 years battle

Dear XXXX, 

I thought you should know that I won my case for shared care after 5 years of hard fighting. The situation that Judge xxxxx orchestrated ended up with my 8 year old son attacking his mother with knife because he was being forced to live with his mother for 12 days out 14 during school term. His frustrations at being forcibly separated from his dad then morphed into suicidal ideation and wanting to be adopted because he thought the Courts would not allow him to live with me, so he wanted to be adopted out to another family all together. 

I won, against ALL ODDS but not against the law what was in my son’s welfare and best interests. Since shared care has started he is a different child. He went through 5 years of hell because of the Family Caught. 

I quote senior Family Court Psychologist Dr xxxxxx under cross examination at my 5 days hearing- ‘When children are separated from a parent without explanation they suffer a profound sense of loss and grief that results in psychological grief and trauma.” . 

 This is what my son suffered as a result of was orchestrated by HPoS Judge XXXXXXXX XXXXX. My son is now in therapy trying to unravel what has happened to him. 

All of the ignorant fuckers that think one can separate a child from his dad (to the degree that is commonly ordered and justified after a finding of purported psychological abuse of the (septic) woman)- 2 days a fortnight,  that are family court lawyers and judges. It would produce an instant cure of the abuse to our children, after one, maybe two incinerations. If only I was king for a day….

You once told me that men have “to own their violence”. Well, you need to open your eyes to the straight out violence that is being inflicted on our children by forcing them to be separated from a parent without reason. Just because mum and dad don’t get on, does not justify taking the child away from one of their parents. This is the passive / aggressive violence being perpetrated by women. 

Here’s a counter perspective to balance out your thinking. NZ women ( who end up in the FC) are a bunch of entitled whinging princesses that think that they are owed a lifetime of servitude by the man who gave them a child/ren. These victim focussed women lack the self responsibility for the state of their lives and use the cry of psychological abuse to convince the courts to enforce conditions that end up exponentially worsening the circumstances of all involved. What is needed is for these whinging women to be held to account for their blame based, non accountable behaviour. It would lift this country into another level of thinking.  

Section 15 and 16 of COCA when read together presume shared care of children as rights of guardians. I wish you had put me on to that 4 years ago. It would have helped straighten out xxxxx bent thinking. 

Thank God, I got a judge that was open enough to the possibility that Judge XXXXX got it ALL WRONG. I put the boot in to Judge XXXXX, in my affidavits and submissions, and that felt really, really, good. No comments in the judgement re this. It is interesting to see that it took a female judge to see what was right. 

Here’s a submission to keep kids with their parents- The first and paramount consideration of COCA is the welfare and best interests of the child. Every decision made by the Court has to be checked against this paramount  consideration. How can it possibly be in the Childs best interests to be separated from a parent they have bonded with since birth? See DR xxxx’s comment as above. Almost all cases before the Caught cannot justify the separation they order once that check and balance has been applied.  Only in rare circumstances should children be forcibly prevented from seeing their parent. 

You are without doubt one of the most intelligent family court lawyers practicing in Auckland. It’s a shame that your intelligence does not seem to make a difference in such a broken system.

God Help us all.